Today I have decided after a lengthy stay in the kitchen this evening, I may start doing tutorials depending on this one's rating.
Tonight's tutorial is:
"How to not suck in the kitchen in Ten Steps".
Step One: Find recipe that you think you can make.
Step Two: Realize you don't have all of the ingredients but make it anyways because you're just that awesome.
Step Three: Start running the water for the dishes you're going* to do while cooking dinner. (* Not really)
Step Four: Turn on some good music on Pandora and turn the TV on and press mute because you can't hear your music over the dogs barking at their reflections in your TV.
Step Five: Add more random shit to your recipe because you know it's not going to turn out. Like fruit....fruit goes with chicken sometimes. Like tonight.
Step Five 1/2: Decide to blog about how awesome you are in the kitchen.
Italics means sarcasm.
Step Six: Realize water has been running the whole entire time and you have two feet of bubbles, a full sink and water all over your counters. Simultaneously, start cleaning it up forgetting about the sizzling chicken you can't hear because there are barking dogs, music and your stream of profanity.
Step Seven: Yell at female dog for humping her older male sibling.
Step Eight: Forget about dishes because they probably aren't going to get done because you may not suck at dinner but you ace sucking at multitasking.
Step Nine: Crack open that bottle of celebratory champagne because you single-handedly saved dinner.
Step 9 3/4*: Stare out the window and gaze at how fast the weather changed and is an utter torrential downpour....then start cussing because you remember you left your dog outside because she was being an asshole.
* 'Arry Pottah reference :D I prefer to say it with an accent because it tickles my fancy.
Step Ten: Enjoy that champagne and tell husband that you came up with dinner on your own because you're just that amazing at being a wife/spouse/slave or what have you. Don't tell him/her you found the recipe on Pinterest because he will inevitably say "Uhh...Another Pinterest recipe? Remember what happened last time?"
Hope you enjoyed this tutorial. Want more? Well then I'll probably write more. I can make a tutorial out of anything. Just slap my ass and call me Etsy ;)
Xoxo
Riley Writes
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