Well hello you cheeky little bastard.
Did you miss me? I've missed you. Unless I saw you not too long ago, in that case, I probably still missed you anyways because I'm needy. So needy and full of love that I'm going to tell you how to adopt a pet in like 15 steps or less (I haven't got to the steps yet and don't have them written out at this juncture so I don't actually know how many steps it takes). Not the actual adoption process but how to decide if getting another dog is right for you.
A back story.
As most of you know if you know me, I'm a bleeding heart for animals. Always have been, always will be. If you're my friend on the book of faces or have been to my house, chances are Luke has most likely stolen your heart. He stole mine from the moment I laid eyes on him in his concrete cell...ahem I mean kennel. Some questions I constantly ask myself, or you may have for me:
Is three dogs a lot? Yes. Do they make me irritated or angry? Absolutely. Is it fun watching Luke fall off the couch because he's the most awkward dog anyone has ever met? You betcha. Do I ever look at my carpets with shame because there's probably another dog's worth of hair on it but I'm tired of vacuuming? Only ever single day of my life. Do I regret any of these things? Not even for a second.
Step 1: Eat champagne for breakfast. With some bacon....everyone loves bacon.
Step 2: Browse the local animal shelter for cute animals because you already have enough.
Step 3: More champagne.
Step 4: Significant other asks if you both should go see a particular dog.
Step 5: Get dressed because you aren't wearing pants because pants and champagne don't mix.
Step 6: Go to shelter, play with dog. Play with the dog that caught your eye on the way in.
Step 7: (This step is critical to adopting another dog when you don't need one) Ask shelter employee about dog's past. (This step is crucial because you're drunk and you have all the feels right now. If you aren't drunk...maybe this step won't mean so much. But if you had a champagne breakfast you should be. And if you aren't...you're not doing something right.)
Step 8: Cry because this dog has never been indoors and is terrified of people from lack of human interaction.
Step 9: Cry and walk out to the car because you don't really have the space or time for one more.
Step 10: (Also another critical step) Have significant other ask "Can you live with yourself if we don't adopt this dog and he gets put down?"
Step 11: Start ugly sobbing because this puppy deserves love as much as the next one does.
Step 12: Get out of the car and proceed to the front desk in the office with your puffy red snotty face and tell admin you would like to adopt a dog.
Step: 13: Pay for the adoption fee and go home to more champagne to cope with the fact that you just added another animal to your already small home and busy life.
Step 14: Pick animal up from vet (because responsible pet parents spay and neuter).
Step 15: Bring puppy home to his new family. And cry a bit because you're overwhelmed with love knowing you just saved an innocent animal from being euthanized. Then give all of them lots of treats because love.
And that's how you adopt a dog.
Xoxo
Riley Writes
P.S. Don't drink and drive. Make the sober one do it. The one who wanted another dog in the first place and asked you while your inhibitions were non existent. :)
