10 Ways the 21 Day Sugar Detox Changed My Life

Today I celebrated my completion of the 21 Day Sugar Detox.  What an amazing and trying three weeks it was.  I did my best (okay not entirely), there is always room for improvement.  The next go around, I'll be a professional.  For a celebratory meal, my partner in crime (who completed the detox with me), decided to go have Chinese food at my favorite restaurant.

Worst. Decision. Ever.

In the book, it details stuff about doing exactly the opposite of what we did.  Not carb-loading or eating super processed meals.  But of course, I didn't read that far.  If you're curious why I didn't, you can look back on previous posts and see that the majority of them all share a common theme...that theme being I'm kind of lazy.

Anyways, after spending the day in sheer and unadulterated agony brought on by the influx of sugar and wheat belly (from copious amounts of soy sauce, noodles and wontons)...I learned a very valuable lesson.  I pondered this lesson while trying to figure out why I can't seem to get Supernatural to stream on Netflix; which was the point of my three day hiatus from work and the world...but that's a whole different story altogether.  So let's talk turkey.  Or learning.  I really just like to say "let's talk turkey." Zach doesn't like it as much as I do but it amuses me so he continues to chuckle because it cracks me up...which in turn, he does find amusing.  I digress.  So seriously, let's get down to business.

10 ways the 21 Day Sugar Detox has changed my life.

1.  There is sugar in EVERYTHING.  I kind of already knew this because of my foray into a semi paleo/primal lifestyle but when you're having to look at labels to avoid unnecessary sugars, it's mind boggling. Seriously...even bacon is cured with sugar. Try to get around that one!

2.  I feel the need to sleep less.  I used to sleep 10 to 12 hours before I started my thyroid medicine.  I was constantly sluggish and tired all of the time.  Once I started the medicine, I went from sleeping 10-12 to 8-10.  Still not awesome but I've always been a tired person.  It wasn't until eradicating the majority of sugars from my diet, I found my sleep was more restful and I no longer need to sleep 10 hours.  Even after working the odd hours that I do.

3. I can taste the sugar in just about everything.  Our taste buds are so acclimated to the high amounts of sugar in everything that it's almost like we're immune to the tiniest bits of sweetness.  I was adding two heaping spoonfuls to my coffee every single morning.  To be perfectly honest, it had to have been over 2 tablespoons which equates to close to 100 calories.  If I have learned anything, it's that counting calories shouldn't be an issue, as long as you're eating the right foods that your body needs and processes.  Today I put about 1/4 of a teaspoon of agave nectar in my coffee and it was as sweet as could be.  I've given my taste buds time to readjust themselves and I am incredibly happy with the results. In fact, I had some not so sugar detox friendly liquor...some tequila, lime and club soda.  It tasted like a sweet juice instead of it's normal and bitter tequila-y taste.  It blew my mind.

4.  I now see how certain foods really make me feel.  Do you ever feel kind of bloated after a meal?  Like"youneed to unbutton your pants because you ate too much" bloated?  That's how I feel after I eat rice and pasta except I'm a rice fiend and usually can't stop myself from overeating it.  So since I was running late, I figured I would just order something from work.  I ordered the lesser of all the sugar evils and went with a BBQ chicken plate after I grilled the cook (get it, it's a pun) about what was in the marinade for the chicken.  The only thing that wasn't detox approved was the white wine, which they were out of so I was in the clear.  I was unaware that under the salad portion was rice.  I didn't ask because I didn't know. ( I should probably read the menu a tad closer.)  After smothering my salad with a nicely portioned dressing made from yogurt and garlic, I began eating.  Within about 10 minutes, I felt a uncomfortable feeling in my stomach.  Upon closer inspection, I noticed there was rice mixed in with the lettuce and since it was the same color as the dressing, I disregarded it.  I spent the next hour or so feeling like I had a balloon in my stomach. which brings me to my next bullet.

5. "Failing to plan is planning to fail." Benjamin Franklin  This right here is a common theme in the 21 Day Sugar Detox book.  I wouldn't have had to eat something I didn't prepare myself had I just planned ahead a tiny bit.  Obviously there are life's little surprises that knock us back but by having a whole day or even half of one to prepare is better than none at all.  Not a single recipe that I made, upset my stomach.  Not one.  Which is a big deal considering the older I get, the less tolerant I am of a lot of foods.  On the days I did plan ahead, I felt great and often felt like I could take on the world.

6.  When you supply your body with nutrient dense foods, you don't need to take as many supplements.  I take magnesium to help prevent headaches and to help me sleep at night.  It is kind of like a natural muscle relaxer and prevents me from clenching my teeth.  I haven't taken it in two weeks...nor have I had a headache that wasn't self inflicted. (Good luck getting a headache prescription for that nasty case of brown bottle flu).  I can usually pinpoint my headaches.  I get headaches if I don't eat enough, dehydration, not sleeping through the night...a multitude of things.  Since I have done the detox, I have had just two headaches.  One was from said brown bottle flu (apparently I was bargaining singing/chanting for shots? Or so I'm told.  I have no recollection of this.)  The other was from definitely not drinking enough water.  Easy fix.

7.  When I eat better, I crave healthy things.  I already kind of knew this one but I like to reiterate that I have 10 boxes of Girl Scout cookies at my house and I wanted dessert after I made dinner.  I blended two bananas, cocoa powder, ice cubes and coconut milk.  Although I really don't like bananas all that much, it satisfied my sweet tooth and didn't make me feel bad about myself because seriously...who can eat JUST ONE serving of Caramel Delights?  Which is two cookies by the way at 130 calories per serving...and there are five in a row.  You can't just leave an uneven number in the row...that's supporting communism or something like that.  We shouldn't do those things.

8.  Knowledge is power.  By doing just a bit of research and reading, I was blown away by just how many chemicals and additives are put into foods.  Knowing these things helped me make wiser choices about what I was eating, how the sugar effects my bodily processes and how it breaks down and stores when there is an excess being consumed.  I lost 10 pounds on this detox simply by eating healthier and continuing weight training.  I'm not saying that it will be that way for everyone but you never know until you try.

9.  I was in denial.  I was definitely in denial about how much crap I consumed.  My cheat days were far too often and consisted of whole days instead of singular meals.  I was doing great before I went to the states then I blew it all to hell and half assed it when I came back.  When you eat copious amounts of sugar, your body craves more sugar and it's basically a vicious cycle.

10.  It's so much easier with a partner.  Luckily for me, I have an amazing support system and people that tolerate my ideas.  So when I decided to do this, my wonderful neighbor/friend said she would do it with me.  I wouldn't have been able to do it without her and as she was my support system, I hope to be Zach's support because I am definitely doing this again...and also will not participate in the singing for shots this next time around. For a multitude of reasons. One being that I called Zach and said "I spent a lot of money tonight and I'm going to sleep in the bathtub because I miss you."  Better just not to ask questions.  I signed up at the Balanced Bites website for daily motivational emails.  Not only did the emails have a different motivational poster but it also told me what to expect for the day.  I highly recommend it.


All in all, this is something I will continue to do.  The way I feel is way too amazing to waste it on going back and eating junk.  Moderation is key but unfortunately in a society such as ours where over-consumption is a daily occurrence, it can be difficult.

Hopefully you found this helpful.  If you are considering this detox, obviously you have my praises but if you have anymore questions...I highly suggest checking out the Balanced Bites Facebook page and/or Balancedbites.com.  There are a whole slew of resources available and great information all over the interwebs.

Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go back to pouting about the whole Supernatural not streaming on Netflix and why I can't have nice things.

Good day!
Xoxo,
Riley Writes.

Fugitive at large...or at least one that checks her mail.

I was planning on writing this latest post about how I have had a interesting time "wife-ing" while Zach is gone.  For instance, even if the trash isn't full, sometimes it's best to take it out anyways because you probably threw something in there that was raw (absentmindedly) and now your whole house smells like a garbage bin.  And if you still can't figure out how to work the weed eater, getting your neighbor to start it for you will not automatically eradicate your inability to actually use it.  Also, if you continually hit things with the lawn mower guard, you're going to break it off completely again...even though your husband fixes it after every time you mow. 

That's what this post was going to be about...until I checked the mail tonight. 

On my drive home from work, I had a massive internal debate on whether I should stop and grab a bottle of wine.  I'm close to being done with my sugar detox so I figured since I didn't go the rest of the time without indulging, maybe I should now.  Heck, I can go a few days without a nice vintage bottle of Wild Vines.  (Just kidding, I don't drink that crap.)

In my head, it went something like this: "If you stop by the shoppette, you won't get the mail and you haven't checked the mail in like a week.  Or have you?  What day is it?  Your shirts will be in soon so you should check.  But will one glass of wine really throw off your detox?  And by glass you mean bottle.  You're not fooling anyone Rachele Riley, you'll drink the whole damn thing and complain about how awful you feel tomorrow. Just stop being lazy and check the damn mail.  See, you've already passed the shoppette. No turning back now, because you're lazy."

Ugh, I suppose I'll go check the mail. 

So I pull up and use the side door that is always unlocked.  Which is what I always do when I check the mail at this time of night.  I noticed my box was rather stuffed with things for me (mostly credit card stuff 'Hey, pay 30 dollars and we will increase your credit limit for a limited time only, but like for the past year because we like that we make so much money from you!').   So since I am not on any sort of time crunch, I walk down the stairs and make sure the door is shut.  You know, the usual.

Get in my car, rip open a letter addressed to me and it feels like there's a card in there. 

"Dear Member, 

We've been made aware that your card has been compromised....ect.  No one has stole your shit yet which is good but as a preliminary measure, here's a new card...."

Awesome.  I just so happen to glance out of the window and notice a military police car is blocking the entrance to the post office.  

"That's odd...but then again, I am here later than most people. It's whatever, I've definitely checked it waaaaay later than this."

So I pull out of my parking spot and exit.  While I was waiting to pull out, I noticed another security forces/military police car barreling towards me head on with their lights flashing.  So I stop and roll down my window and wait for them to get in their own lane. Awesome.  I'm getting arrested for checking my mail.  I knew I should have just picked up a bottle of wine.

"Ma'am...did you just come from the post office?"

"I did, I was checking my mail."

"Ma'am we are going to need you to turn around and go back to the post office.  Park your car and wait please."

"What is this about?  The door was unlocked so I went in and checked my mail?  That's it."

"Ma'am the post office alarm has been set off.  We aren't saying it was you but it has been compromised.  Please turn around and park your car."

I go back and park my car and I'm waiting to be approached when I hear a voice over the loudspeaker:

"To the owner of the vehicle, please step out and away from your car."

Are you fucking kidding me?

So I shout back "Well what do you want me to do? Just stand here or head to you?"

Loudspeaker again. "Ma'am, if you could come towards me and step away from your car."

Holy fuck, I'm getting arrested for checking my mail.  Approaching the cop car and all I can think is "Only me...this kind of shit only happens to me."

"All I did was check my mail! The door was unlocked! Am I in trouble?  I knew I should have gotten wine. What in the hell is going on?  I'm not trying to be an obnoxious asshole but seriously...what is happening?"

"Ma'am, do you have your id on you?  We need to keep you in our custody until we clear the area.  Apparently the silent alarm was triggered.  We're not saying it was you but we need to keep you here just to be sure."

"Great, you're going to arrest me for checking my mail.  My id is in the car, may I go get it and turn my car off?"

I walk back over to my car and notice them scoping out the perimeter.  Of course it has been raining so the concrete is wet but I sit anyways because I have a feeling I'm going to be here for a while.

"Ma'am, did you touch anything besides your mailbox?"

"You mean like the door to get in? Because it's unlocked.  No, I didn't touch anything else. What else is there to touch? Jesus, I knew I should have just got the wine. Ya'll are going to arrest me and I'm going to just tell my husband I was being drunk and disorderly to the gate guards because that's easier to believe than me getting in trouble for checking the mail."

"Ma'am, you're not in any trouble just so long as you didn't do anything. That door is unlocked so people can check their mail."

"So it's unlocked but it may trigger an alarm.  Wonderful.  Are y'all going to go through my car?  Because there is nothing in there except for my mail...from my mailbox number 123464."

I hear him talking to the other police about my "story" and how I gave him my mailbox number.  Then I acquired an onlooker.

"What's going on here? Can I go check my mail?"

"No sir, not at this moment.  We are pending an investigation."

"Yep, and I'm being investigated for checking my mail. Be careful, you might set off an alarm and end up here sitting next to me."  

"Ma'am, sometimes the alarm just goes off.  We need to wait for the custodian to get here so it can be shut off and if your story checks out, you can go."

"Can't you just watch the security footage.  I literally just got off of work, haven't checked the mail in a few days and I'm waiting for a package."

After about 15 more minutes, I was "released"  and was told to go home.  I chit chatted with the police officer who was very nice despite my sarcasm.  I thanked him for being nice and went on my merry little way home...still laughing because like I said, this stuff only happens to me.  Apparently this sort of thing happens on the regular, even during working hours.  Charming...right? 

"Sorry ma'am.  It appears you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Yeah well lesson learned.  The answer is if you ever have to debate about doing anything, just get wine instead."

Xoxo

Riley Writes

That time I cried about Chinese Food.

This goes along with this whole other "I don't understand women" spiel.  I happen to be one of them but most of the time, I'm as equally confused as men about what's going on with me or why I'm feeling the way I do, whenever I feel it.  Especially around "that time".  This is a story about "that time" and that I'm craving Chinese food, which I cannot have because I am on day 8 of this 21 day sugar detox which is going rather well I think.  

So I really really love Chinese food.  In fact, most days, I'm convinced I should have been Asian or some sort of ethnicity where someone doesn't look at you like you have an extra set of ears growing off your head, when you mention that fried rice/rice in general should be allowed for breakfast. For other cultures, it's perfectly normal.  In the states, I can't think of many places that serve you fried rice with an egg on it for breakfast (which is one of my most favorite things in the world). I could eat that every single day if I could.  Which I can't because it kind of hurts my stomach...because I eat a lot of it.  Seriously.  I'll put away a whole family sized plate of fried rice. I love it and you can't tell me any different.

I always crave Chinese food.  Always.  It's never far from my mind.  A while back ago, Zach and I were lifting weights together and I noticed a familiar craving. (Are you thinking Chinese food? How did you guess?) We also get really hangry in this house.  No one more than me.  It's science or something.

"Babe, I'm really hungry, like bad."

"Okay well we will get something to eat after we finish our sets. I'm going to need your help on this last one, it's really heavy."

At this point, I start daydreaming about beef fried noodles and chicken wontons with duck sauce when I hear Zach start gurgling and I realize he needs my assistance.  So I quickly snap out of it and help him lift the weight.

"Rach, were you even paying attention?"

"Not really, I was just thinking about Chinese food.  I'm really hungry."

"Baby, I know.  We will get food as soon as we finish working out."

"Are you going to take a break really quickly so I can go inside and get some water?"

"Go for it.  I need a minute to recover."

I meander inside and all of the sudden, I'm angry.  I'm so angry that I kind of start throwing things around while I'm getting my water...muttering to myself, strewing profanities out in space.  Why was I angry, you ask?  I don't know.  It just kind of happened.

I go back outside and I'm watching Zach do his second set and in another instant, my eyes start welling up with tears.  I can't help it.  It's uncontrollable.  I start sniffling because I feel an ugly cry coming on.  Like Kim Kardashian ugly cry. 

"Babe, are we almost done with this?"

"Rach, I told you as soon as we finish this and I still have deadlifts to do.  It'll be a bit longer."

*Sniffly* "Okay.."

"Baby, oh my god, are you...are you crying right now?"

*Commence ugly cry* "I'm...I'm...I'm just really reallllly hungry. I want Chinese food so bad and I don't know why I'm crying.  I'm sorry.  *more sniffles* Baby, I just really want some Chinese food. I really don't know why I'm crying.  What's wrong with me? I'm so hungry."

"Okay, okay.  Let me put the weights away and we will go.  Are you okay? I love you."

Then he was all sweet and kissed me on the forehead because it takes a special kind of man to love that kind of crazy.  But also he was getting a good laugh at my expense so I believe that deserves a forehead kiss.

We finally make it to Magnolia (my favorite place to eat) and I order beef friend noodle, chicken wontons (to share kind of) and fried rice.  Mind you, all this food is technically "family style" so you get a big plate to portion out to your family.  Or a big plate of yummy noodle-y goodness that you don't feel like sharing because 20 minutes prior you were crying about it.  

I don't think I have ever eaten so fast in my life. I ate every last noodle on that plate as Zach stared in amazement. 

"Babe, would you like a to-go box for the plate or are you going to eat that here too?"

"I will punch you in the face."

On the way home, I realized eating all of that food was a giant mistake and I probably shouldn't have eaten with such speed in the first place.  So I promptly took a nap upon my return home...and woke up hungry again.

And that's why I cried over Chinese food.  Confused?  Join the club. 

______________________________________________________________

Pardon the mess of the blog.  I'm trying to find a new layout but because I'm not a computer/internet whiz, I messed up some html and the comment pages are a bunch of letters and numbers.  If you happen to know anyone who would be willing to help me out in this deparetment, let me know.  I'll pay in coconuts and dollar bills.  Those "fancy" blogger layouts just aren't doing it for me anymore.  Me trying to do anything technically is like a monkey trying to copulate with a football.  It just isn't going to happen.

Xoxo

Riley Writes

Someone explain this to me, because I'm just not getting it.

Women confuse me and I happen to be one of them.  There is one thing that drives me absolutely and utterly bonkers.  If you do this, I automatically dislike you.  There is absolutely no excuse in the world that makes this okay unless you're a toddler and even then, you're supposed to teach your toddler otherwise.  When I see this, I automatically wonder how it happens.  In fact, I have a hard time fathoming why it happens multiple times a day all over the world.

As a bartender, I have had my days where I've needed to clean bathrooms.  All the nasty stuff.  I can handle that.  But after needing to pee for about two hours but being so busy that when I finally make it into the bathroom...the last thing I want to see and/or do is wipe up someone else's melted yellow snow.  And it NEVER seems to be a little.  It's like not a single drop made it into the actual bowl itself.  Most of the time, I'm not grossed out (okay, I am and you can usually hear my profanities from a mile away) but mostly, I'm wondering what kind of dexterity it takes to get piss all the way around the toilet seat.  Like even in the back where normal peoples' butts sit.  Do you do handstands while you're peeing?  Or stand on one leg and rub your tummy while simultaneously balancing on the commode.  How do you do it?  I know when I sit my happy ass down, there is no way I pee so hard that it splashes up under my butt.  Do you pee so hard it's kind of like a rocket, propelling you up?

This is what I picture most nights.  Except its a drunk female wearing high heels and giggling while her friend's hold her up.  Does that really happen?  I don't know.  I do my business like a normal drunk girl after a night of being rowdy; with my head between my knees, huffing and puffing because more than likely, the bathroom is spinning like a teacup ride at Disneyland.  It's kind of like a roller coaster.  Keep your arms and legs inside the moving vehicle at all times until the ride has come to a complete stop.  

Or is it more like this? 

I believe this is called the "Reverse Cowgirl" and it's to prevent you from falling in according to William Shakespeare.  This is also the other thing I picture drunk women doing. Is this how this happens?  Someone please explain.  I've seen men's rooms with less pee on the floor and seat.  Or maybe men know that if you dribble, you should clean it up. 

Anyways...so that's that rant for the day.  I guess it's better than being solicited for sex.  Or agreeing to hang out with a bunch of Japanese bachelor tourists because you say "Yes" without actually understanding what you're agreeing to.

Xoxo,

Riley Writes. 

I didn't think I looked like a prostitute when I left the house today...

But I suppose there's always room for error in judgement?  I'm not sure.  I left the house in my work shirt, a pair of shorts with the zipper classily wrapped up in a hair tie to prevent it from falling down and my precious faux Ugg boots my Nana bought me while I was in Idaho.  I know what you're thinking..."Ugg boots in Guam?  Isn't it really hot? Boo you whore, looking all seductive in your calf high Ugg boots."  I couldn't find socks.*  It was also a terrible mistake.

*I didn't actually look for them.

So tonight this happened...my conversation with a rather drunk and rather old man.

"Can I get a beer?"
"It's going to be five dollars."
*Hands me four dollars crumpled up.
"You're short a dollar.  Don't make me take the beer back."
"Can I ask you a question?" 
"You sure can, but make it snappy....It's been a long night and I'd like to go home."
"Oh wow, that was rough.  I don't think I like you.  You just made me feel uncomfortable."
"Don't be like that, I gave you my real name which has to count for something. Just don't ask me anything inappropriate."

*Leans in and gets really quiet.
"Get on with it, ask away.  I really have to get back to work."
"You have a very beautiful face."
"Thank you but seriously..."
"I'm looking for...services.  Do you think you could help me out? Would you be willing? You're beautiful."
"Uhhhhh....Absolutely not."
"I'm willing to pay good money, whatever you want.  I'm just looking for certain..."
"Nope, not happening. Ever."
"Are you sure? Okay."

I'm not sure if I was mortified or amused.  I wasn't the only one he propositioned so I must not have been all that special.  So I did what any girl would do....I considered it and asked him what he was willing to pay.

Just kidding.

On a serious note...I wasn't even wearing the bra that makes my boobs look like a $7,000 dollar investment.  I just walked away and tried to wrap my brain around what had just taken place.  Later on he came back and was looking at my sleeve and asking how far my tattoo went across my chest.  Unfortunately for me, there was no bar between us as the conversation was taking place so I did a decent amount of hand swatting.

A day in the life, eh?  And remember kids, stay classy and don't proposition bartenders for sex because it probably won't happen....or it might so I suppose it doesn't hurt to ask.  Just not with me. Ever.

Xoxo
Riley Writes.

Return of the blogger!

Well hello there you cheeky little Riley Writes blog reader, you.  I bet you thought you were never going to read another written word by me ever again!  Right?  Well surprise!  Here I am with another New Year's resolution to become a better writer by engaging in more written stuff and smelling of balsamic vinegar that I spilled on my slippers.  

Things.  Things have been happening.   My wonderful husband purchased a new laptop for me because mine broke when I was in the states.  I've been without for about four months and it wasn't as awful as I thought it was going to be.  Other than the fact that I couldn't blog.  Well, I could but if you know me, then you know my relationship with Zach's laptop has been rather rocky from the beginning.  We don't really see eye to eye and now that he's installed Linux it's like we aren't even connected any more.  

There's a lot of this: "You stupid piece of *expletive*!  I didn't even click that! Ugh Zachary! Why does it hate me?"  

Then there's this: "Why can't we just get along?  We love the same man.  Why must you always make a fool out of me and work whenever he walks over but completely disregard my commands? Don't be jealous.  We can share.  I'll even learn to backup your hard drive if that's what you want." 

I also ventured into the working world again.  Yep, you heard/read that correctly.  Once I got back from the states, it was my goal to find an office job so I could live a normal, paper pushing 9-5er.  However when you work in the bar industry for long periods of time, people don't think much of your office skills.  I'm a raging alcoholic who parties all the time, probably will show up to work hungover and I have no people skills.  30-40 resumes later, I submitted and went to a bar...to put in an application.  Which I was hired on the spot because apparently I do have people skills.  I enjoy it very much.  There's a pool.  How can you not love a bar with a pool? Right?  Eh?  Well that leads me to my next venture.

Moooooom, she's doing that paleo thing again...only I heard she's not drinking?! What?

I started a sugar detox today.  It's only 21 days which is a lot easier to not drink than let's say 90 days...which was my previous endeavor.  Anyone care to guess how that one turned out?  Also, the balsamic vinegar on my slipper/foot is a new recipe I'm trying out.  Not that I'm going to eat feet....I was thinking squash which smells like pumpkin which I detest.  We'll see about this one.

I recently celebrated my 2nd anniversary to the man who continually puts up with my crazy.  I think he just lets it roll of his shoulders.  I can't really think of any other way to deal with it.  

My female dog still humps the male.  The male has started rooting through the laundry room to find my underwear....it reminds me of one of those truffle searching pigs.  Only it's underwear and it's gross. I started paying the neighbor girl $20 bucks a week to walk my dogs.  That's a lot of money for a 12 year old...right?  I was earning nickels picking up ciggarette butts when I was her age.  The dogs get so excited for their walks that I thought "Hey, I'll throw in an extra 10 bucks a week if she takes them for just 5-10 minutes longer." That would equal out $120 a month.  That was like a whole year of savings for me.  The response was "No thank you, I think the shorter walks are fine."

Maybe my dogs really are assholes?

Keep on being charming.

Xoxo

Riley Writes