"Jingle Bells
Hannah smells (all of the time)
Henry chewed a toooy (and a wall, baseboards and a pillow and his bed)
Zachary has new video games
And I just say "Oh boooy"
You're welcome, I'm here all week.
I like to talk about my dogs a lot. Mostly because I don't have children I birthed from the baby canal. So instead I talk about those furry things I like sometimes. $50+. That's how much I spent on dog toys this week. Ask me how many toys that bought...(you don't actually have to ask, but I'll tell you and pretend you did.)
Seven. Seven toys including two foot long rawhides. This is where it gets fun. Ask me how many aren't demolished or still squeak. (Once again, you don't actually have to ask.)
One. One toy that is still intact, squeaks and has all of its parts. No more rawhides even though I kept taking them away. After spending all weekend picking up plastic parts, fuzz (Think heavy bright green snow on Christmas) from the Kong tennis ball that Henry stripped off of it before he massacred it with no shame. Hannah was just an asshole. "Hey Henry, I know you're across the room but Imma snarl at you for looking at my rawhide even though you're actually not looking at it and instead you're sleeping. But I can totally see you checking it out. Bitch, did I say you could snore in the direction of my rawhide? Imma put my hackles up so you KNOW I mean business. You know what? I'm just gonna come over and hump your face while you're sleeping to prove my point. Yeah boy, dontchu look at my rawhide 'gain."
I bought one that I didn't realize looked like a toy that you would find at an adult store....I was unaware until Henry was trying to get that squeaker out, consequently enough, located in the "rear".
I have had multiple compliments/comments saying "Hey Rachele, why isn't that in the bedroom....where it should be?" or things like "Did you really 'buy' a toys for the dogs (wink wink)? Eh? Ehh?"
I've officially thrown in the white flag. They ruin everything, not that I mind too much except they've taken to chewing on the baseboards as a form of separation anxiety. Slather those bastards in Sriracha, problem solved.
___________________________________________________
Apparently this Call Of Duty: Black Ops thing is pretty serious. Also, I'm super obnoxious. Remember Crash Bandicoot? Lovable little...well, something, who's girlfriend was abducted by the horrible Dr. Cortex and Crash is on a mission to rescue his girlfriend and eat apples! 1996, that's the year it came out. It was on the original Playstation and I was so excited when my parents brought it home.
R: So we're here to get the new COD?
Z: Yeah, I prepaid to have one reserved.
R: Can I get a video game? I want to play!
Z: Yeah, I would love for you to play video games with me, what one do you want?
R: Crash Bandicoot! (Commence weird looks from hard core gamers)
Z: What is that? I've never heard of it.
Then I wander off all around the store and then I'm all "Babe, how come I can't find Crash Bandi-Coot? That's what I want, I want to rescue his girlfriend and defeat the evil Dr. Ican'trememberhisname. Ugghhh, but I just want the Bannnndiiii-coooooot game."
Commence more stares from people in line to buy the new COD Black Ops.
Then Zachary is all "You're being ridiculous. People are looking. Do they even make it anymore?" and I remember that it came out a long ass time ago and the answer is probably not. So that was depressing. However, I decided to browse the Playstation store....lo and behold! Crash Bandicoot for PS3 for $6! SIX WHOLE DOLLARS! It was basically Christmas at the Riley Manor so I begged (asked once because I was going to do it anyways regardless of the answer) if I could download it and he said yes! Hooray!
I played it for 30 minutes before my eyeballs were burning at how terrible the graphics were. Remember when you got a Baby Alive and it came with juice you fed it to make it pee but then you would pretend to "check the temperature" and drink it all yourself? Remember how "good" it was and how now if you were to drink it, it may taste like muiriatic acid? Well, that's how it was playing Crash Bandicoot for the first time since 1997.
I haven't touched it since. It was terrible. I wasn't even sure what I was looking at most of the time. I kept getting killed because I couldn't tell what I was looking at, everything kinda blended together....however, Hannah likes to watch what's going on tv and was entranced by the movement on the big screen in front of her. Naturally, I made the character run back and forth so I could watch Hannah chase him and growl at the tv. That was probably the highlight of my game playing experience.
That's it for this installment of Riley Writes. I apologize once again for the lagging in writing. I'm fully aware I'm behind. I will try to be better.
Xoxo
That Crazy Riley Woman
I like to talk about my dogs a lot. Mostly because I don't have children I birthed from the baby canal. So instead I talk about those furry things I like sometimes. $50+. That's how much I spent on dog toys this week. Ask me how many toys that bought...(you don't actually have to ask, but I'll tell you and pretend you did.)
Seven. Seven toys including two foot long rawhides. This is where it gets fun. Ask me how many aren't demolished or still squeak. (Once again, you don't actually have to ask.)
One. One toy that is still intact, squeaks and has all of its parts. No more rawhides even though I kept taking them away. After spending all weekend picking up plastic parts, fuzz (Think heavy bright green snow on Christmas) from the Kong tennis ball that Henry stripped off of it before he massacred it with no shame. Hannah was just an asshole. "Hey Henry, I know you're across the room but Imma snarl at you for looking at my rawhide even though you're actually not looking at it and instead you're sleeping. But I can totally see you checking it out. Bitch, did I say you could snore in the direction of my rawhide? Imma put my hackles up so you KNOW I mean business. You know what? I'm just gonna come over and hump your face while you're sleeping to prove my point. Yeah boy, dontchu look at my rawhide 'gain."
I bought one that I didn't realize looked like a toy that you would find at an adult store....I was unaware until Henry was trying to get that squeaker out, consequently enough, located in the "rear".
I have had multiple compliments/comments saying "Hey Rachele, why isn't that in the bedroom....where it should be?" or things like "Did you really 'buy' a toys for the dogs (wink wink)? Eh? Ehh?"
I've officially thrown in the white flag. They ruin everything, not that I mind too much except they've taken to chewing on the baseboards as a form of separation anxiety. Slather those bastards in Sriracha, problem solved.
___________________________________________________
Apparently this Call Of Duty: Black Ops thing is pretty serious. Also, I'm super obnoxious. Remember Crash Bandicoot? Lovable little...well, something, who's girlfriend was abducted by the horrible Dr. Cortex and Crash is on a mission to rescue his girlfriend and eat apples! 1996, that's the year it came out. It was on the original Playstation and I was so excited when my parents brought it home.
R: So we're here to get the new COD?
Z: Yeah, I prepaid to have one reserved.
R: Can I get a video game? I want to play!
Z: Yeah, I would love for you to play video games with me, what one do you want?
R: Crash Bandicoot! (Commence weird looks from hard core gamers)
Z: What is that? I've never heard of it.
Then I wander off all around the store and then I'm all "Babe, how come I can't find Crash Bandi-Coot? That's what I want, I want to rescue his girlfriend and defeat the evil Dr. Ican'trememberhisname. Ugghhh, but I just want the Bannnndiiii-coooooot game."
Commence more stares from people in line to buy the new COD Black Ops.
Then Zachary is all "You're being ridiculous. People are looking. Do they even make it anymore?" and I remember that it came out a long ass time ago and the answer is probably not. So that was depressing. However, I decided to browse the Playstation store....lo and behold! Crash Bandicoot for PS3 for $6! SIX WHOLE DOLLARS! It was basically Christmas at the Riley Manor so I begged (asked once because I was going to do it anyways regardless of the answer) if I could download it and he said yes! Hooray!
I played it for 30 minutes before my eyeballs were burning at how terrible the graphics were. Remember when you got a Baby Alive and it came with juice you fed it to make it pee but then you would pretend to "check the temperature" and drink it all yourself? Remember how "good" it was and how now if you were to drink it, it may taste like muiriatic acid? Well, that's how it was playing Crash Bandicoot for the first time since 1997.
I haven't touched it since. It was terrible. I wasn't even sure what I was looking at most of the time. I kept getting killed because I couldn't tell what I was looking at, everything kinda blended together....however, Hannah likes to watch what's going on tv and was entranced by the movement on the big screen in front of her. Naturally, I made the character run back and forth so I could watch Hannah chase him and growl at the tv. That was probably the highlight of my game playing experience.
That's it for this installment of Riley Writes. I apologize once again for the lagging in writing. I'm fully aware I'm behind. I will try to be better.
Xoxo
That Crazy Riley Woman
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