Things are finally coming together at work. The bar is slowly getting set up, new bartenders have been hired. the food is without flaw and I have convinced two servers to refer to me as "Big Poppa". I'm going to go ahead and chalk that up to a win.
With a set schedule now...you are going to hear more posts about Crossfit, trying to be gluten free (because apparently when you have thyroid problems, it can cause gluten sensitivities which I why I haven't made carbonara in about 4 months) and more post about my asshole fur children who are going through separation anxieties. In my blog before the last one I wrote, I mentioned driving by the Crossfit gym I like to go to. Well, I finally decided I was going to start getting back into a routine come hell or high water. I didn't lose as much progress as I figured I did but I wasn't quite up to par as the last time we went. It felt great though. I nailed my WOD and have been looking at Crossfit pins on Pinterest (obsessed much?). I'm also Stumbling Upon pictures of tattoos because I am finally getting my Merry Christmas half sleeve and I'm trying to make some decisions. Any time I see any pictures of females I'm all like "Oh wow, she's super skinny but I bet she can't lift like I can," or "She has got NO muscle definition AT ALL."
I know, I'm seriously ridiculous.
Do you know who's even more ridiculous than I am? My asshole dogs, that's who. In this past week, Hannah has peed in the bed while we were snuggling, Henry has chewed up two of the walls and they BOTH decided it was okay that while Zach and I were trying to take a nap on the couch, that they should be able to be up on the couch as well.
"Hey mom, I noticed you covered your face up with the blanket to abstain from getting kisses but I see you left your ear out. Let me remind you just how long and slobbery my tongue is by letting me stick it in your ear and surprise you! " "Arghfgh" "Mom, are you surprised?! Do you love me?"
I allowed Hannah and Henry to snuggle in bed with me the other night. I didn't get home super late but working in the hot weather really takes it out of you. I was all "Okay puppies, come snuggle with mommy!" They took no time into beating me to the bedroom and claiming their retrospective spots. Hannah is the snuggler so she curled up in my arms all cute while Henry was laying across my legs. It wasn't long before Hannah was trying to make herself even more comfortable by turning around in circles. Then I noticed her sitting. She normally doesn't sit on the bed...she's either standing or laying down. Plus she was sitting a bit lower than her normal sitting stance. I notice these things because I'm all motherly like that. That's when I went all ghetto and said "Aw Hell naw bitch, you better not be pissing on my mother lovin bed!"
"You little *expletive*! Yeah you *expletive*-ing expletive. You pissed on my bed you little *fatherless child*. Yeah you better run you *expletive*-ing reference of male genitalia. Damn it you little *expletive* sucking *expletive*!"
Then my wonderful husband said to whomever he was playing his new Halo game with "I think my youngest daughter is in trouble."
"Damn right she's in trouble. The little *expletive*-ing *expletive* pissed on our bed." - I yelled all of this as I chased that little jerk around the house, waving my arms in a fit of anger.
She booked it into her kennel and didn't even whine about not having a bed in there...which I had to remove because BOTH Hannah and Henry have chewed the zippers off of their bed and have strewn gorilla fuzz all over our house. This is not the first instance. I clean up gorilla fuzz on a regular basis. It looks like someone shaved a dozen orangutans and distributed the clippings all around our carpet. If you have dogs, I'm sure you understand completely.
Well, that's all for this edition of Riley Writes. Hopefully you enjoyed your brief little stay here.
Xoxo,
Riley Writes
*Input your own profanity strewn language. Or use your imagination. Either one.
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