Why Don't People Come With A Warning Label?

Well now, I made it to over 1,000 views!  Woohoo!  Thank you.  Except no one sent me their address so I take it no one wanted anything cool from Guam?  It's okay, your loss.  Not my fault that you didn't want a coconut postcard sent to your home address.  Don't be all whining because you think I don't care,  I do care, this is tough love.

In today's world, you have to be careful of the things you consume, have around you or come into contact with.  It's unfortunate but everything affects your health in one way or another.  Good or bad.  It can affect your body, your psyche and your overall humanity.  I believe the same goes for people.  There are all sorts of people in our day to day life.  There are amazing people that always have inspiring things to say, help you along your journey and teach you many new things.  On the flip side of the coin, there are people who are toxic, poisoning your well of happiness and good thoughts.  They bring you down to their level and make it so you are equally as depressed and toxic as they are.  They key is spotting them, which isn't always easy.

And this is why people should come with a warning label.

They don't though.  This is where you need to be able to learn the signs of having a toxic person in your life.  I used to have tons of them and had no idea how to filter them out.  I would spend 15 minutes with these people, my heart would be heavy and my emotional batteries drained.  I felt like I could sleep for days because I was riddled with other people's constant problems and issues.  I would make these issues my own and try to fix everyone but it just became too much.

After a breakdown of epic proportions after hearing a friend's mother had been diagnosed with a severe and aggressive form of cancer, I decided it was time to seek professional help.  I thought that there were a lot of emotions dealing with things of that nature that I hadn't yet dealt with.  I felt like my whole life was collapsing and I wouldn't be happy until I worked through my past.

Turns out, it wasn't so much my past but my present that needed to be worked on.  I took the initiative, looked up a counselor and the first session, she said a few simple words that have forever altered my life.

"Maybe your breakdown is actually a breakthrough."

Simple concept right?  It just took a complete stranger to bring it to my attention.  After years of being the friend/girlfriend/co-worker who undertook everyone's misfortunes, I had accumulated a decent amount of these toxic people in my daily life and I was tired.  Tired of being the one that people would call in the middle of the night knowing full well that the action wouldn't be reciprocated.  I was emotionally drained, naive and exhausted.

Every week after seeing my counselor, I would leave sobbing and call my mother to discuss what I had learned.  I was purging all that bad juju from my life and even though my face was ugly from crying, I always felt like the concrete had been lifted from my shoulders.  I started looking at things in a new light.  I knew I had to make some changes and I had to make them fast because obviously what I was doing hadn't been working.  Then a certain someone showed up at the bar I worked at, all in his party shirt, ordering my favorite beer and made me all googly eyed and mushy.  I had no qualms in telling him "Hey, I'm a nutcase and I see a counselor once a week.  Are you okay with this because if you're not, you probably shouldn't hang around me because I'm crazy.  No, seriously.  I talk to myself and sometimes I answer."

He was okay with it and pretty soon, he was texting me after my appointments, asking how I was feeling, if I was okay and if I felt up to going on a date.   (Ahem, apparently he likes the crazies because he married me.)  I don't see the counselor anymore and I have cleansed the majority of those toxic people out.  Sometimes I forget what it's like to be around draining and toxic people....then one of them pops out of the wood works and is all "Oh hey, did you forget about being emotionally drained? Let me remind you and make you feel like shit because my life sucks."

Then I remember what it's like.  Then I also remember the super awesome support system I have in place to help me protect my sanity, to remind me that I don't have to have these types of people in my life and to also make it known that it's a privilege to have me as a sidekick and not an entitlement because I used to be there.  Any kind of relationship is a two way street.  There has to be give and take.  If someone is in your life that only likes the one way street, put that junk out in the street for trash day.  You're worth more than that.

Xoxo
Riley Writes.

P.S  One of my most favorite things to remember and it always gets me by when these toxic people come a' knockin' on my door....their life sucks because of the choices that they made....not the ones you made.  Don't let them make you feel bad.