For example:
Every time we go to leave the dog park, Henry has to eat the long grass on the way out. I don't mind that he eats it because it's good for his belly however, he decides to eat it as we are walking to the car, prolonging our stay. It's not even regular grass, it's growing up and through the mesh so he awkwardly tries to tilt his head which WILL NOT fit so he can eat that blade of grass that looks identical to the ones that are easier to get to.
Hannah has been acting like an asshole, picking fights with Henry and a blind/deaf dog at the dog park who just wanted to play with her because she thought he was going after her tennis ball. She's obsessive about fetch and "Ohhh gurl don't nobody tryin a get wit my tennis ball or frisbee, okay?" Who does that? She literally will play fetch until she can't run anymore. Then she doesn't run, she walks. And then she walks until she cries when she's panting because she's so tired yet she really wants you to throw that ball again. It makes it look like puppy abuse.
My Christmas gift from my husband, a memory foam mattress topper. Duration: One week to the day. Yes, they pulled the sheets up and kicked all the blankets back to the bed. And yes, they both ran into their kennels as soon as I walked in the room. I would too had I been them because this is when I wanted to turn them into shoes. But instead I hung my head, and cleaned up the mess.
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| "Oh hey mom, remember how you went to the movies for one night without us? How bout these apples? Sleep well tonight motha truckahs." |
Obviously they can't be left attended with the bedroom door open.
Henry has a pillow he loves to chew on. He will sniff it, then chew on it no matter how many times he gets yelled at. Then he pretends he did nothing wrong as the feathers are coming out of his mouth. Sometimes he will lay on the couch and nudge it around before he starts chewing, other times he'll just walk by and try to bite at it...all acting like no one notices.
They also are completely NOT supposed to be on the couch. However, I know when to wave the white flag.
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| That's the pillow. In fact, as I'm writing this, he just got yelled at for chewing on said pillow. |
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| "What couch, Mom?" |
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| "It's not what it looks like....we weren't on the couch we were just uhhh....But Dad said we could!" |
"Are you going to eat that? Because that really looks delicious, Mom. Sorry about the drool on your leg but seriously, are you going to finish that? Puhleeeease can we have some? You may not know this but we haven't eaten in weeks!" You know what I'm talking about. The face smooshed wherever it can "fit", staring at you, begging for food.
They also have been burping A LOT lately. I have never met dogs that actually burp but now it's a common occurrence in our household. There you are all snuggling some puppy faces, getting puppy kisses and you hear that God awful sound and while you're still sitting there, pondering what it was, they open their mouth and breathe it right into your face. Do your dogs do that or am I just that lucky?
Chewing, chewing and more chewing. My headphones....the day after the memory foam mattress debacle. Wrapping paper still on the tubes. New dog beds? Yup, already started the holes. Walls, you betcha. Nope, not teething, just obnoxious.
Basically this whole entry was me venting about NOT turning my dogs into shoes because I think that may be illegal in some states. I could probably sell them for Chinese food here instead but I choose to love them forever, chase them with the vacuum cleaner, buy them expensive toys and watch them chose to chew on cardboard instead and listen to Hannah throw her food bowl around the kitchen until I deem it's time to eat dinner (when I get sick of listening to the clanging of all four metal bowls on the floor).
I suppose it's a dog's life.
Xoxo
Riley Writes
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