Seriously, I've caught like four errors already. Mostly in adding words that don't belong. Carry on.
It's almost 2 o'clock here in the land of the Evergreens. I slept until noon but not until I woke up at 2 a.m and was unable to fall back asleep until almost 5 this morning. And this is AFTER taking three Tylenol PM. I wasn't joking about my headache. Serious shit.
If you read my last post, you'd know that traveling not only takes it out of me, but I seem to have issues with it, always. It never fails. I'm just a nervous flyer based on past experiences. This occasion was no different. My first flight was wonderful, went off without a hitch except the ungodly need to pee. I sat next to a nice guy who's wife works on the Air Force base where we live. We chit chatted, I sat behind a boy with really really nice hair so that was lovely to look at. My flight was good and without incident which was lovely.
Then I reached Narita, Japan where I had to go through TSA again for reasons unbeknownst to me. It wasn't bad except I still had to pee something fierce. Once I finally made it through, I made a bee line to the bathroom and got to use a bidet for the third time in my life. It was lovely except I must have sat there for a minute waiting for it to turn off by itself (Hint for those of you who travel, there's an off button that looks the same in any language). As I make my way to the gate, I find a seat at the terminal (which wasn't difficult because there were a ton of seats available). I put my carry on one side of me and my purse on the other side. I was sitting at the second seat at the beginning of the row, minding my own business because I'm an adult and I do that sometimes. Out of nowhere, a woman sits down next to my purse, touching it. I move it to the other side of me and think to myself "There must be AT LEAST 30 seats available in this terminal. This seat? Really?" I manage to connect to wifi and iMessage my husband because of course, my computer won't work and no sooner do I start messaging him, this woman starts looking over my shoulder reading my texts. I think eventually she got tired of reading about how Henry needs to go in for minor surgery and that I feel like the worlds worst puppy mom.
Fast forward through boarding (which was awesome because I bought a ticket with a military discount which means I can board earlier that normal. Little victories), I get settled into my seat and a man approaches me and says "You're not supposed to be sitting here."
"I'm sorry, this seat was assigned to me." Then the guy responds with "I checked this morning and I was the only one sitting in this row. I was supposed to have it all to myself." I tell him that I was assigned this morning when I checked in. I think it was his attempt at dry humor but I always find myself less than humorous on international flights...that's just me, lack of sleep and bad circulation in my feet. Snuggle in with my pillow, get settled and all of the sudden from behind me, I catch the beginning of a conversation:
"So you're from Washington? That's coo, I'm getting stationed there, you'll have to show me around."
"Yeah no problem. I've never been on the base here before."
"I ain' ever been before neither. I'm in the middle of a divorce. When I met my wife (fade out, can't here because the plane just started...) you know, she wan give me a gift. A gift you can only give to someone once. Out of all dem good lookin dudes, she chose me. I be like "You sure?" She said "Yeah, you a good lookin dude." (- You know, the basis for any amazing relationship.) 9 months later she be all "I'm tired and hungry. Then I be like yo, you pregnant? She let me do what I do and...."
I had to stop listening. It was awful and I was floored. You just met this girl and you're telling her about this?! So I did what any normal sane/hangry person would do....I took some Tylenol PM (because that's when my headache started) and I went to sleep for the majority of the flight.
Before takeoff, the flight crew handed out forms to go through customs. Not anything too exciting. I have less than 10,000 dollars on me, I am not bringing food, haven't touched any cows nor am I selling anything. There is a spot for an address or hotel you'll be staying at. I put Buckley because you know, I'll be spending the majority of my time there for the next week. The line was pretty long but it went by quickly...until I got up there. Clearly, I'm a US citizen, I speak fluent English and I'm from Washington which I made a point to tell her. Maybe it was the fact that I didn't have time to shave my mustache before going through customs that made me a threat, I don't know.
Customs lady with a Russian Accent - "Passport and customs form."
"Here you go."
-"Is this your final destination?"
"Yes ma'am.
-"I need an address."
I replied with, "I don't have an address but I can give you a phone number? Will that work?"
-"What do you mean you don't have an address? Where will you be staying?"
"I'll be staying with my aunt and uncle but I don't have their address, I've been out of the country
for nearly two years."By this point, we're both getting completely aggravated. She rolled her eyes at me and said a number was acceptable. So I gave her my parents number because that's where I'll be spending the majority of my time. She attempts to dial it but I cut her off.
"That number is in Idaho, I'll be staying there once I leave here."
-"So then what flight will you be on?"
"I'm not flying, I'm driving because I'm staying in Washington for a week with my aunt and uncle. My aunt works here at the airport."
-"I'm going to send you to the back since you have no address or phone number."
"I've been out of the country for two years because my husband is military, my phone clearly doesn't work here because it's from Guam. You can page my aunt who works here and is picking me up outside of customs. I don't know what else you want from me.
-"Give my your aunt's phone number." So I give to to her, she dials, huffs and puffs at me which makes me even angrier than I already am.
-"It doesn't work. The number is disconnected, I'm sending you to the back." What does that even mean?
"It does work, I know this because it's one of three numbers I have memorized. Try. It. Again." By this time I'm being short and curt...but she wasn't a walk in the park either.
She dials "Maybe I pressed a wrong number. (insert huffy puffy voice) You're good. Next time have an address."
I proceed down to International baggage where I literally waited 20+ minutes for my baggage to make it out. I didn't even have to see it to know it was on the belt. I literally could smell my tea tree oil a mile away. F*ck. Even though I made sure the cap was on tight, somehow, it leaked out and permeated my luggage from inside the plastic ziploc I put it in and made sure at least 5 times that it was closed. Science or something like that.
From there, I made my way though the other part of customs...then older gentleman looked at my form an asked "Rachele, is there any sort of fruit/food/ or things of that matter I should know about?" I replied with a "No sir." Then he laughed and said even if I did have something, since I'm coming from Guam it was probably from the states anyways.
From there I patrolled around the baggage claims for 45 minutes looking for my aunt and readjusting my 100 pounds luggage because I'll be damned if I'm going to pay 5 dollars for a luggage cart. I haven't been to an airport this large in about 5-7 years. It's weird. Pensacola Regional has 5 baggage claims, Guam has about 5 and Spokane airport has about the same. Imagine my surprise of seeing about 15 of them. After asking a nice woman if I could borrow her cell phone, I couldn't get a hold of anyone so I stopped and asked one of the craziest questions I've ever asked in my life.
"Erm, I know this is crazy and y'all probably NEVER hear this and I hope I NEVER have to ask it again buuuut, do you know where a payphone is at? I've haven't used one in forever....actually...make that ever except my phone doesn't work here and I'm tired and a bit grumpy."
I got directions and while I was pondering how to fit 100 pounds of suitcases in the bathroom for me, I heard my name and my wonderful aunt came rushing up to greet me, giving me a hug that basically washed any bad feeling away! It's incredible how just one bear hug from a beloved family member can make you feel. It pretty much cures anything except for a case of hangry. Which I was because, ew, airline food. Even then though, I still felt pretty wonderful.
That's about it for now. I think I've expended a lot of energy writing this post today. Tomorrow I'll post about how I almost started crying in Fred Myer's since your eyeballs are probably as tired as my brain from reading this.
Welcome back to Washington!
Xoxo,
Riley Writes
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